If you want to have an open heart, then you’ll also want to have an open pussy and vice versa.
A woman’s yoni (Sanskrit for vulva and vagina) is typically the most closed down region on her body and generally that means her heart will be equally as closed down.
For a lot of women it may feel almost impossible to be fully and deeply penetrated by her lover the way she’s actually craving. You can read more about how women actually long to be fucked open in an article I wrote several months ago.
The interesting thing I’ve found with a lot of my clients (and with myself too) is that when a woman’s pussy is shut down and closed, so is her heart. Her heart is no longer safe to be open, full and fiercely loving the way it naturally is.
That means that her hips are locked, her stomach might feel knotted from a lack of owning her full pleasure, femininity and power. From a lack of trust, safety and surrender, which is key for a woman’s heart and yoni to be fully opened and claimed.
I’m a huge fan of David Deida’s work and in his book Dear Lover he writes about how women long to be fully claimed by their masculine partner.
Now this is not limited to sexual orientation because we all have masculine and feminine energies within us, but typically we have a primary essence. Mine happens to be feminine, but this doesn’t mean that every woman’s natural or primary essence is feminine nor does it mean that every man’s primary essence is masculine.
If you are reading this right now and your primary essence is feminine, then chances are on some deep level you actually do crave to have your body ravaged to the point where you can surrender so deeply into your partner’s love. So deeply that your heart cracks wide open and your pussy almost seems to soften and melt open in unison.
I know this is the case for me. Many of the women in my private Facebook group for women The Sensually Embodied Woman Sisterhood have mentioned this to me as well. (You can request to join the group here if you’d like to open yourself to deeper conversation around the erotic, love, sex and relationships.)
It’s the primal need, the craving, the deep lustful longing to be fucked wide open. And not just by a cock or dildo. Not just by a lover. But by LOVE itself. By the divine space of erotic love.
I base my coaching practice on a lot of Taoist and Tantric practices, which have not only helped me heal on a profound level, but helped my clients open to a deeper space of love, trust and erotic pleasure in their own bodies, which then overflows into any relationships they’re in.
Through Taoist sexual philosophy we work with the energy meridians or reflexology points that are located inside of the vagina (or in the cock for men) that correspond with organs in the body.
As you go deeper into a woman’s vagina, you’ll find a reflexology point near the cervix that links to a very specific organ…can you guess what it is?
THE HEART.
This is why I believe that the deeper you go into a woman (including you going deeper into your own pussy), the deeper you go into WHO she is as a wild soul, loving heart and divine being.
But what if your/her heart is closed down? What if you can’t seem to open, soften and trust? Or fully surrender?
It’s truly an epidemic that so many women have closed off, shut down hearts and pussies right now. What we secretly want is to really be claimed by our partner’s unwavering love. Especially through sacred sexuality.
We want it deep, which means that we need to open like a rose blossoming in the sunlight. We need to unfold, layer by layer, and allow our sensuous, erotic nature and intimacy to awaken more than we ever thought was possible for us. To the point where it might even terrify the fuck out of us.
We need to go deep within our own hearts and pussies and be intimate with ourselves. We also need to show up the same way in our relationships and allow the masculine to go deep within us too.
As the feminine we long for that erotic claiming.
When our partner truly sees us and witnesses us so deeply that we feel seen, heard, felt INTO and witnessed to our very feminine core. This is not a surface level or shallow sexual experience. We are seen and felt into so deeply that we are one with the love that flows between our heart and genitals in our own bodies and also flowing to and from our lover’s heart and genitals.
As a woman or for anyone who resides primarily in a feminine essence, it’s one of the natural qualities of the feminine. The feminine is life-force–that juicy, creative energy that is the source of all creation. Feminine is radiance, vitality, beauty and surrendered pleasure.
So it’s natural for us to crave being SEEN. Truly seen. Not just for our beauty, but for our radiance, because our radiance and life-force is what the masculine craves and needs to exist.
We are literally fuel for the masculine and this is not in a way that depletes or takes away from our source of life-force or erotic power, but in a way that it’s truly natural. It’s as natural as how a woman’s body provides nutrients and nourishment for her baby through her breast milk.
Simply put, our radiant, life-force energy nourishes the masculine.
And the masculine’s unwavering presence and consciousness nourishes the feminine. His (or her) ability to be the strong, supportive container to which we can truly unfold, surrender and be held, seen and felt. The ability for the masculine to provide safety, trust and a sacred space for us to show up in all of our wild emotions, love and power.
This is all needed for a woman to truly open her heart AND her pussy.
So if you find yourself struggling to feel open and flowing with love and sexual energy (life-force) and you don’t seem to be open and lubricated in between your legs, then I’m going to share a few practices with you that you can start to do on your own and also bring into your relationship to open your heart and yoni.
Orgasmic Heart Breathing. Many of us, both men and women, struggle with being able to raise our sexual energy, if we can even feel it in the first place. When it comes to connecting with your sexual energy and learning to raise or circulate it, I’ve found that there are three keys: breath, mind’s eye for visualization and using your pelvic floor to pump the energy up your spine.
Usually we feel our sexual energy as arousal or turn on in our genitals and for a lot of women that’s directly in the clitoris. The clitoris has over 8,000 nerve endings so it’s no wonder that we feel so much arousal and pleasure building there, but I also know that many women struggle with having deeper vaginal orgasms or vaginal orgasms at all, because they can’t move beyond clitoral pleasure and orgasms.
Orgasmic Heart Breathing is an exercise that I teach in depth in my jade egg online course the Jade Awakening Salon, which will be opening for enrollment in early October.
Doing this exercise will help you take that arousal that might be building up in your clitoris or in your whole genital region and raise your sexual energy up into your heart. This connects your heart and pussy on a deeper level and also makes you have an orgasmic heart (and breasts and nipples).
Here’s how to practice Orgasmic Heart Breathing. You can do this standing or sitting, but I’m going to lead you through the most pleasurable version.
Sit crossed legged with your right heel placed at the opening of your vagina so that you can rub against your clitoris if you like.
Start by gently squeezing and releasing your pelvic floor muscles as if your vagina is opening and closing like the petals of a flower. You can grind slightly against your heel to build arousal in your vulva and vagina.
Now inhale, squeeze your pelvic floor (inward and upward) as if you are stopping your flow of urine. As you inhale, draw the energy up into your heart. Exhale, relax and release, imagining your sexual energy flowing back down into your yoni. Inhale, squeeze and draw the energy and breath back into your heart. Feel your sexual energy flow up into your heart.
It might help to visualize it as a color or texture (like golden honey or red wine-colored liquid, for example) or golden light.
Exhale, relax your pelvic floor and let the energy drop back down into your pussy. You can set a timer beforehand for 5-10 minutes and use this as a pleasurable meditation or before using a jade egg, self-pleasuring or making love. You can even practice this with your partner and have them breathe into their own genitals and heart.
Drawing your sexual energy inward and upward nourishes your pelvic organs and as you learn to raise your sexual energy, it will nourish other organs (like your liver, spleen, kidneys and heart) as well.
Use a jade egg. Jade is a great crystal to use for healing not only your vagina, but your heart as well since the dark green hue of Nephrite jade corresponds with the heart chakra.
There are numerous benefits and reasons why I LOVE the jade egg practice and recommend that every woman uses one. You can get access to all of my free jade egg resources here, including videos, podcasts and articles.
If you want to start or deepen your own jade egg practice, you can download my free jade egg ebook here. You’ll also get notified of my free video series coming soon teaching you more about the pleasure and power of using a jade egg.
Use a rose quartz yoni wand. Rose quartz is another great crystal to use for self-pleasure since rose quartz is meant for healing the heart, opening to love, having compassion and even practicing forgiveness.
Using crystals like rose quartz and jade vaginally will not only help you heal and open your pussy, but your heart too. I like this one!
Sensual, heart-opening breast massage. I personally devote 5-10 minutes a day to do a sensual, heart-opening breast massage ritual. Sometimes I perform this at night and sometimes in the morning depending on what my heart and body needs.
A simple version is to light candles, turn on some sensual music and massage your breasts and heart region with warm coconut oil in front of a mirror. You can squeeze, shake, deeply massage and move your breasts in all directions to open your heart, build the arousal and pleasure connection in your brain between your breasts/nipples and your yoni.
Massaging your breasts regularly also releases feel-good hormones, calms your nervous system and increases healthy lymphatic flow, which prevents breast cancer. I actually teach two in-depth breast and nipple massage rituals in my jade egg salon.
Womb-Heart-Yoni Connection aka WHY Connection. This is something I do every morning before I even get out of bed and it’s one of the first practices I teach my private clients. You can learn more about it here.
I teach this simple exercise because it connects you with your feminine regions, which typically hold the most shame, trauma and pain or numbness in the tissue (and energetically) or have the most stuck sexual energy.
Not only that, but once you clear the trauma from the tissue through embodiment practices (like WHY Connection and the other rituals I’m sharing) and begin to move your sexual energy, you’ll find that they are also the most POWERFUL and PLEASURABLE regions of your body.
A simple way to practice this is to place your hands on your heart and breathe three times into your heart while pulsing your pelvic floor muscles on the inhale, relaxing and releasing on the exhale.
Then, place your hands in a downward facing triangle over your womb space and repeat three inhales (pulsing) and exhales (releasing).
Lastly, placing your hands over your vulva and repeating the three breath and pulse sequence there, connecting all three feminine regions of your body.
Intimacy exercises. When it comes to relationship, intimacy and connection exercises like eye gazing (a Tantric practice), pussy and penis massage and breathing together can help you open deeper to your lover and learn how to truly surrender. You can even do Orgasmic Heart Breathing together.
If you’re not in relationship, doing mirror work where you gaze into your own eyes for about five minutes a day will help you open to deeper intimacy. You can also do Yoni Mirror Worship, where you gaze lovingly at your yoni in a beautiful handheld mirror–without judgement of course.
Heart & hip opening movement, erotic, sensual dance or leading with your heart and pussy. Moving your body in a way that opens your heart and your hips will help you build the sensual, erotic connection between your heart and pussy.
As you move your body, whether it’s through dance, taking a walk, doing yoga or even working out at the gym, practicing leading with your heart and pussy as if there are two magnets pulling you forward from each region. I teach several embodiment practices, including Heart & Hip Opening Movement in my salon too!
These are some of my best practices for really opening your heart and your yoni simultaneously and learning how to find deeper pleasure, erotic love and intimacy in your body from a space of safety, trust and true surrender.
I’d love for you to drop me a comment below and let me know which practice you’re going to implement today. Do you feel as though you have an open heart and pussy? Or do you feel shut down in one or both?
xx
Amber
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